Haystack

I know this is a little late but here are some images from the work I did at Haystack. I collaborated with some friends to make a shelter where anyone can go to honor a lost loved one. It is essentially a memorial piece made for everyone.

Progress in my work

The first two images here is the work I showed during the critique a couple weeks ago. I originally planned to use the felt I made as the body of "Jared." However, as I started to put the arms together, filling them with pillow stuffing, I decided it was beginning to look too much like a stuffed animal or puppet. Not that puppets are bad, but Jared as the central figure is supposed to be strong, supportive, reliable, king-like. Stuffed animal reads as comforting, soft, infantile almost. So, scratched that idea... The babies I showed in class were adorned with beads, wax, and pellets. I knew that this would not be the final headdress, I just wanted to show the class the babies with something, since they look so different naked. I put them on this cast glass log, felt, and rock so that they had more of a prescence than just sitting on a table. Ultimately, I don't plan to place the babies on any of those things. These second images are where my work is going now. I decided to literally go back to my roots and use them as Jared's body. This works perfectly because the Mesoamerica symbol for the gateway from earth to sky to underworld is the Life Tree. They use the ceba tree inparticular. My roots come from a shrub I dug up, and I plan to extend the arms with branches from the tree Jared crashed into. I think it is a much more fitting representation of the spirit.
I asked each sibling and my parents what animal they relate to (or love) and what their favorite colors are. It was so fun to see what they all had to say. Interestingly enough, almost everyone prefers natural colors like brown, green, teracotta...This made it easier to incorporate into each individual animal headdress. I have been needle felting each one which is a technique I have never used in my work before. It takes forever, but I am getting better with every piece I do. I have actually had to go back into the first couple since they were starting to look like they were on a lesser level of craftsmanship.
I have three more babies to do: mine, my moms and my dads. I still haven't decided how my parent's will be different, but a friend in the glass department mentioned that she has a mold of a larger baby I could use. I got a lot of feedback from the class about making an "8th" baby for Jared. It's funny because that was a strong opinion during the critique but after class I got several remarks suggesting I stick with the original plan and omit the 8th baby. Jared is no longer in human form, so I don't see why his representation in my work should be as well. He is an overwhelming prescense in all of our lives and his size and intricacy depicts that. I have considered putting a naked baby nested in the roots, but I'm still not positive that it's necessary. I don't want to be too literal.
The next stage in the process is display. I have decided to make each baby his/her own shelf with a space to put an offering. I hope my family will contribute an offering for the piece. I'm not sure what Jared will sit on yet, some kind of throne....

Antony Gormley

ANTONY GORMLEY

For anyone who didn't get to see this artist talk, I'm sorry! The work this sculptor does is truly inspiring to artists and "non" artists alike. His figurative sculptures can be found all over the world. My favorite is "Exposure." Gormley's largest work, standing (or squatting rather) at 25 meters high and weighing in at 60 tons this enormous figure is permanently sited 1km from the shore of Leystad, The Netherlands. It is made from 5,000 material elements and took over three years to design and build. Gormley describes this peice as "an attempt to evoke the body as a place." You have no idea of the scale of the man until you see a person standing next to it. The massive sculpture is considered a drawing in space as opposed to the more familiar solid structure seen in most of his other designs. Gormley uses his own body for almost all of his work, taking molds directly. In gallery settings, he places the figures in a way that forces the viewer to question what defines space. He spoke about the contemporary artists obsession with museums and believes that work should be made public whenever possible. He does have gallery work but prefers to create sculptures in spaces available for everyday foot traffic. Gormley was a funny, unique guy who pays attention to every detail of his work. One installation he has in some remote lake is casts of his body made from a mix of each element found in that location. Another amazing "social experiment" was created when he put 50 tons of clay in a huge, tempurature controlled tent, and brought people in to do whatever they wanted with the material. Each person was required to spend at least 4 hours in the tent, and Gormley had an EMT and psychiatrists present for safety. He described some people sitting on the floor and bawling without knowing why. Most people today are not given the opportunity to create without boundaries. The intense regression to childhood some people experienced was completely overwhelming. The end product was a huge mass of individual sculptures made into some kind of colony within the tent.

All of these works inspired me to challenge boundaries of the size, location, and material of my work.

Gallery Visits and Artist Talks

WILLIAM KENTRIDGE

We visited Kentridge's show during class, and I also visited during the "Family Day" event organized by the Art Ed department. Sometimes I find it extremely important to understand the meaning behind an artists work, like when it isn't very obvious, or it peaks my interest enough that I want to find out more about it. The animation and Kentridge's interview video provided me with enough knowledge about his body of work that I didn't feel the need to look further. I'm not inspired by politics in my own work or life in general so I sort of tuned that information out and viewed the work for its esthetic value instead. My favorite peice in the show was "Blue Head." The intense emotion evoked by the man's expression was mesmorizing, and the colors and line quality was beautiful. My own drawing and painting style is similar in that we don't use smooth, clean linework. Instead, Kentridge and I almost scribble in the desired form.

I enjoyed my visit to the gallery with the class, but the interactive and educative quality at the family day gave me (and the kids I was babysitting) a different perspective of Kentridge's work that I would not have experienced without the crafts they designed to relate to the show. The kids learned about series images by creating five pattern drawings made with geometric stamp shapes, and we created stories about losing and finding parts of our faces, inspired by "Nose." Overall, it was a fun day for the kids and myself. The activities will help me remember Kentridge which is important as I have a difficult time remembering artists names in general..

Tenzin Yignyen

I enjoyed the artist talk with Tenzin soooo much! He taught us about meditating and how to do it properly. One thing that stuck with me is his explanation of joy. He put a huge emphasis on the importance of joy in your life and how it affects your relationship with those around you. To always smile is the most important thing. He said that it is impossible to think of nothing at all,which is what I thought the goal of meditation was originally, but he explained focusing on the breath as it travels through your body. It reminded me of my yoga practice. The energy of breath is so powerful and has such a calming effect on the mind and body. The talk was a perfect way to start the day. Tenzin's mandala was truly stunning and his ability to set his art free after spending days on it is mindblowing to me. I do relate a little bit, since glass is such a fragile material, I never become too attached to the work. I can have the most beautiful vase I've ever made on the end of the pipe crash to the ground right before I finish. That's just part of the process of glassblowing though, it has helped me to put less emphasis on the final product and more on the process, making the work (like the mandala) a meditative practice. The difference is that I can make a vase in 30min.- 1hr and Tenzin spent days on his work..also he is conciously freeing his work where as my glass breaking is usually unintentional.

I told myself that I would continue with meditation after his lecture, but I haven't meditated once since then :(

PHASE II

I'm sooo excited about this phase....I am taking a class on the history of Mesoamerican art and archeology right now. It is so inspiring to see what cultures were capable of so many centuries before our time. Olmec, Teotihuacan, and Maya art has been the focus thus far. One assigned text is a book called "Religions of Mesoamerica, Cosmovision and Ceremonial Centers" by David Carrasco. In it is this amazing image of "Lord Pacal" carved in limestone CE 684. The image is a narrative of Pacal's journey into the underworld as described in Maya religion. The intricacies of this carving blow my mind. It was discovered in a secret underground burial site inside the Temple of the Inscriptions, Palenque, Chiapas, Mexico. This beautiful image was the lid of Lord Pacal's sarcophagus.
I am planning on taking this image and running with it. I want to consider my life in terms of "heaven, earth and the underworld" with personally significant symbols. What do I worship? How do I describe death and the passage to the next realm, if there is life after death. I'm not sure whether this will become a large sculpture encompassing my personal narrative, a few smaller sculptures depicting each stage, or perhaps taking a step away from sculpture entirely and moving into paintings. My next step is to write, draw, and continue to study the history of these cultures.

Questions:

1. Why do I care about this culture?
Throughout my education, I have been frustrated with the lack of emphasis on Latin American art and archeology. We constantly focus our studies on European art history as a basis for the structure of our techniques. I believe there is much to learn from cultures who are so rarely recognized in North American academics.

2. How can I take this aesthetic and make it my own?
The symbols these archaic cultures used are significant to their time period. I hope to take the overall importance of symbolism and narration and translate it to more contemporary, abstract images/objects.

3. What is my overall purpose for this phase?
I want to take a subject that I have worked with so many times and transform it into something I haven't yet imagined. I hope the push to remove my work from a western representation of life and death will help me discover a new view on the subject.

4. How will I begin?
I feel like I need to start drawing. I can imagine a general idea of structure/imagery but I need to focus on my specific thoughts on each cosmic level (sky, earth, underworld). Once I have symbols created I can combine them to create a narrative. Then, I can begin building :)

5. How will I finish this in the time we have left ?!
This is what I'm worried about...if anyone has methods that have worked well for them, please share. I think I might need to set deadlines for myself.

Broke the Artist's Block!

I continued embroidering canvas for the materials exploration...it was taking forever so I decided to make this piece mixed media. I drew a lot of the image in oil pastels and plan on adding more embroidery, some oil paint, feathers, and beads. I'm loving all the color!

I also worked with string in Haystack where I created a huge memorial structure, tying dead trees together with bright yarn...pictures to come

Material Exploration

STRING

-What are some traditional uses of string?

Embroidering, crocheting, knitting, weaving, needle point..

-What are some nontraditional ways you might use string?

I am planning to combine traditional uses in nontraditional ways. For example, my first piece will be an embroidered design on canvas rather than cloth or clothing. I also hope to learn new ways to stiffen string in order to create sculptures from the material without using wire.

-Why are you choosing string?

One of my goals this semester is to use materials that I already have. I looked through everything and decided that I have bought string throughout the years and barely touched it. I thought it would be a nice change from such demanding materials (glass, wood, metal). Many fellow students I have talked with have explained knitting, embroidering, etc. to be time consuming but meditative. I can still incorporate the more demanding materials if I get bored with just string.

-What are some potential problems you might face?

I could possibly get bored pretty quickly. Also I could find that the time it takes to create something with string is more time than I can commit to. I don't have a lot of experience with many of the techniques I mentioned earlier, so it will take a lot of patience to learn them.

-Exactly what kind of string are you using?

I have a ton of embroidery thread, hemp, and yarn. I am also considering creating my own string from things like paper, cut fabric, and plastic.

-I have spoken with fellow students who have more experience in this and similar materials. I find it more helpful to speak with them and learn from them rather than using a book.

-Thus far, I am finding myself short on concrete ideas to work on. I know how I want to use string but I don't necessarily know what I want the finished product to look like. I am just trying to go with the flow and truly experience the material as it is, and figure out the possibilities as I go along. I have only started the first piece (embroidering on canvas) so I feel like I have a long way to go before I know the potential of the material.

Inspiration-
I am usually inspired by my own emotions. I have experienced several unexpected deaths in the past few years and my work reflects my grieving process through those experiences. I am also inspired by nature, usually creating organic shapes in my sculptures. Lastly, I am inspired by fellow artists. When the studio is full, people are making noise and being productive, I can't help but join in. When it is just me in the studio, it is harder for me to stay focused for too long unless I have an upcoming deadline.

Working Environment-
I have sincerely enjoyed working in a studio with other art students. My desk is in front of a window so I enjoy natural sunlight and breeze...I also spend a lot of time in the cold glass shop where I put on my ipod and zone into the repetitive actions of grinding and polishing. When I am in the hot shop however, I become part of the hustle and bustle of a fast paced and dangerous material. If I get the chance to work out in nature (in the woods, at the arboretum) I might bring some painting materials but find it difficult to remember everything I need and as a result prevent myself from finishing anything.

Working Process-
I spend a lot of time in the brainstorming aspect of creating. I do a lot of rough sketches, writing, and searching online, in books, or in the everyday in search of inspiration. Once I get a solid idea, I spend even more time brainstorming the steps, writing rough lists of what order to do things in..usually losing the list in the process and changing the steps on a day to day basis. When I finally start building, I do a lot of staring..contemplating what would look best where before any adhesive is applied. When painting I layer and layer until I'm satisfied, if possible. In hot glass I will often make something over and over again until I figure out the most attractive and efficient way to make the object.

Motivation-
I lack motivation. Being in school with a set schedule is the only thing that keeps me going..I need to be in a constant process of creating to get results. So in the summer, I usually lose my drive to make art and have to start from scratch in the fall. Once I have my materials in front of me, projects assigned, and my desk organized (I constantly arrange and re-arrange my desk throughout the year) I will focus. Sometimes however, I get a special burst of motivation in reaction to a strong emotion. This year I am going to Haystack during the anniversary of my brother's death anniversary so I'm hoping the excess of emotion I have during that time will motivate me to create something amazing.

Reading-
I lost the passion to read for many years. However, my first five weeks of Costa Rica were spent traveling with my boyfriend. We spent day after day lounging on the beach, reading novels. The relaxed atmosphere with no agenda and free books found in hostels provided for the perfect reading environment. I probably finished 20 books in the three months I was away, sometimes finishing an entire novel in one day. I love novels that capture me enough to keep me away from the TV..I have a ton of "self-help" sort of books that have been collecting dust on the bookshelf, like Julia Cameron's "The Artists Way" and "Vein of Gold" ...someday I'll get to them.

Most Inspiring Person-
By far, my late brother, Jared has inspired me more than any other person. My love for him is reflected in all of my work, even if it is not directly focused on him. Losing him has been the most significant event in my life and is a continuous struggle. Since I consider art a therapeutic practice, I see my art making as a journey through grieving his death, and memories of his life.
The artwork here is a memory box I made to house some of my favorite or most memorable items of Jared's including his childhood stuffed animal, a Jerry Garcia duct tape hand he made, one of his favorite t-shirts, his eulogy, and a handwritten paper from high school.

Day 1

Today is the first day of classes...finally. I am really itching to make work right now. I went to Costa Rica for the Spring semester last year and have only made one sculpture since 2009! I need to get my materials into my studio so I can organize and finally get my thoughts together about what my body of work will be this year. I have always focused on the loss of my brother, Jared but I am tempted to step away from that for this class. To create work with a less intense concept. However, the anniversary of his death is next month so it's impossible to get him off my mind.
I do have some goals: I want to use materials I already have. Instead of going out and buying a ton of new shiny things, I need to use the paint I bought in high school. The paper I made in Costa Rica, the broken glass from former work that I just can't bring myself to throw out, these are all free materials taking up space. I want to clean out my closet and create work with what I have. I hope I can stick to it.